Elon Musk Diversifies into Genetically Engineered Catgirls

Shock waves were felt in the scientific community today after business magnate and Tesla CEO, Elon Musk announced his entry into the field of bioengineering. With recent breakthroughs, Musk estimates that he can begin selling a line of genetically bred cat girls for the domestic market.

Musk is well known for his attention-grabbing publicity stunts, including this year’s launch of a personal flamethrower retailing at $500 and launching a car into space to promote his SpaceX business. He has indicated that this specific endeavor to be quite a serious matter, and will fulfill a long held ambition for the influential CEO.

“After Trump failed to make anime real, I knew I was realistically the only person who could potentially make this a reality,” Musk stated in a recent press release. “So I diverted some funding, hired some people, and 12 months later here we are. I just really want me some catgirls.”

Due to the sudden apparition of this discovery, the announcement has drawn a fair share of criticism from skeptics. Others in the scientific community at large have argued that this could be seen as the biggest research breakthrough in the history of science.

Ada Stockton, one of the head researchers on the project, recalls the strange origin of the project.

“Elon sat us down in a conference room, turned on a projector and proceeded to play through the entirety of Nekopara without a break,” Stockton told Anime Maru. “At first we thought he was joking, but a couple hours in when noticed all the doors and windows were locked; we knew he was completely serious.”

When queried about the actual science behind this breakthrough, Stockton wasn’t too keen on divulging any secrets, but did explain the project was designed to act similar to a house cat, providing companionship, comfort and entertainment. The team has already sold out of all their demo models, 90% which have been picked up by Japanese soap land operators.

Although declining for a formal interview, Elon Musk did put out a prepared statement to the world media, simply stating “Get ready to fuck some cats.”

About the author

Due to anime currently being classed as a schedule 8 narcotic, Heatfist currently writes for Anime Maru through a series hastily cobbled together VB tins and harmless upper middle class racism, broadcasting from a hidden bunker, located deep in the Australian outback. Communicates solely through sardonicism and second hand banter stolen from early 2000’s AMV’s.