Latest Boycott by Gamers Accomplishes Literally Nothing

Gamers took to social media yesterday to express their dissatisfaction with the latest hit video game, swamping online comment sections and media feeds with complaints. Hashtags calling to boycott the game soon started trending on Twitter as more users began to rally around the idea of spreading a message, but doing nothing substantial about it.

Players have called for the game’s developers to begin immediately implementing changes, threatening to leave more mean internet comments with no weight behind them if changes are not made soon. Some even went as far as changing their profile picture for the day, typing messages in all caps, or even tagging developer accounts in their hastily constructed comments.

“I am outraged with the current state of this game. We need to make our voices heard,” posted Twitter user DPSsensei in an angry online rant. “I’m honestly shocked that a major video game with a large multinational release wouldn’t precisely adhere to my own personal definition of morality.”

Players continued to announce their criticisms throughout the day while making sure to still invest their time and money into the game so that no one would take them seriously.

“I bet the developers are really panicking right now,” commented Twitter user G1zen, whose profile consists primarily of references to the game. “I’m sure they will be working to implement changes any moment now so they don’t become irrelevant.”

Despite the rapid spread of messages to boycott, the movement has already begun to encounter issues; most notably when users discovered that “boycott” actually means refraining from playing the game entirely and not just temporarily holding off on in-game purchases for a day.

In order to be more realistic, the tone of the protests has begun shifting towards vague requests for the developers to simply “do better” rather than pushing for anything concrete that might actually stand a chance of happening.

Players are hoping that their efforts will soon be enough to pressure the developers to release a generic PR statement so that they can feel accomplished enough to go back to bingeing the game again without feeling guilty.

About the author

Sustaining on instant noodles and a wavering DSL connection, it is uncertain how Vestro has continued to survive let alone still form a cognitive thought. Regardless, he still manages to come out of his soba induced coma now and then. He can be found spending his time pretending to understand Japanese media as well as picking up the remaining shards of his broken dreams.