Netflix Releases Half of the Hostages

Early this morning, Netflix announced that they were releasing half of the musical duo Carole and Tuesday, which they have held hostage for since April 2019.

After being confined for over four months, half of Carole and Tuesday was allowed to leave captivity and return to the rest of the world. However, Netflix staunchly refuses to release the other half of the duo and have announced no planned date to do so, leaving fans distressed and unable to fully celebrate.

Netflix put out a list of demands for the release of the rest of the hostages, which includes being allowed to call American-created productions “anime,” and being allowed to call anime independently created and already aired in Japan “Netflix originals.”

Netflix released this list of demands in the form of a documentary titled Enter the Anime, which police have warned citizens to avoid due to its sickening and twisted nature.

“America’s policy is staunchly to never negotiate with terrorists,” the CIA said in a statement put out today, referring to Netflix.

“They have held several schools-worth of children hostage to try to legitimize themselves as creators of anime, and we cannot bend to their will, no matter how much we all wish Takagi-san was back home.”

The CIA also denied rumors that they have been working alongside international pirates to get access to Netflix’s kidnapping victims.

About the author

Bob_Squob is neither a Bob nor a Squob, but they’re both common enough names to form an alias. After roaming the earth for 10,000 years with no purpose, he came upon Anime Maru, and thought to himself, “It is good. I will make my home here.” He currently resides in the darkness for fear that his taste in anime will be discovered and exploited as a weakness. Twitter: @Bob_Squob