Area Man Struggles to Find Acceptable Conversation Topic at Family Dinner Table

MILFORD, CT – A Connecticut man found himself unable to find a suitable topic of conversation at the family dinner table earlier this evening. Reports indicate that Andrew Klein, 29,…

‘Goblin Slayer’ to Feature More Shots of Birds in Order to Seem More “Artistic”, Less “Edgy”

Latest episode of Goblin Slayer confused, and amused, audiences with its closing scene — a near 2-minute close-up of a bird’s eye, followed by the credit roll. Though this sparked speculation about…

Studio Pierrot Refuses to Release New ‘Tokyo Ghoul: Re’ Blu-rays to “Filthy Anime-Onlys”

Controversy emerged today in Mitaka, Tokyo as Studio Pierrot has officially declared that Blu-ray discs for all future seasons of its once-popular anime Tokyo Ghoul: re will only be made…

PETA Initiates ‘Goblin Lives Matter’ Movement

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), an international animal rights group, recently launched its ‘Goblin Lives Matter’ campaign, an activist movement opposing the indiscriminate killing of goblins. The…

Grave Robbing Rates Skyrocket Following Popularity of ‘Zombieland Saga’

The Japanese local police have reported this week an alarming spike of recorded crimes against corpses over the last month and a half, which many are chalking up to the…

Local Man Learns Hiragana, Adds “Nihongo de ok” to Twitter Bio

ATHENS, GA — After declaring that he has mastered hiragana, Lance Williams, 19, has accordingly updated his twitter profile by appending “にほんごでOK”. In doing this Williams hopes to inform his…

Kurisu Makise Leads Initial Ballot Count in Minnesota Congressional Race

In a shocking upset, preliminary ballot counts from Minnesota’s hotly contested 1st congressional district show write-in candidate Kurisu Makise leading by a small margin. With incumbent Tim Walz (D) not…

‘Happy Sugar Life’ as Reviewed by an Actual Murderer

Hi, my name is Jason and I am a convicted murderer. Today, I am going to review Happy Sugar Life and offer my own personal insight on this anime.

Lately many people have recommended I check out this recent anime called Happy Sugar Life. The name doesn’t sound that grim-dark so it’s a welcome change to my usual shows, and I’m not afraid of new experiences or anything. One of the main characters, high school freshman Matsuzaka Satou, is voiced by Hanazawa Kana. I’d honestly kill, even more than I already have, to see her get more roles, seeing how she is nowadays featured only in about 75% of all airing anime, which is not nearly enough and makes me super angry.

Climate Scientists Form Idol Group in Desperate Effort to Save Environment

In a last-ditch attempt to bring attention to the threat of global warming and save the environment, a group of climate scientists have formed an idol group called TooHOT. Inspired…

So Close Yet So Far: Canada One Letter Off From Legalizing Weeb(s)

VANCOUVER, Canada – Thousands of despondent Canadian anime fans have taken to social media over the last weeks in protest of the Canadian government’s historic legalization of marijuana. Canada became…